


And May You Never Know the Truth

by livingwithmermaids



Series: Hinting At Something Different [80]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drunk Sam, Episode: s01e05 Bloody Mary, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 09:54:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4217208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingwithmermaids/pseuds/livingwithmermaids
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why Dean's eyes bled along with Sam's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And May You Never Know the Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Season 1 episode 5 Bloody Mary

Dean had a secret that he'd never told Sam.

His eyes had bled just as much as Sam's had when he'd summoned Bloody Mary all those years ago.

He knew, he  _knew,_ that his eyes would bleed, and he knew exactly why they would. It was a secret that he'd been ashamed of for the past ten years, even after he knew in his heart that he had redeemed himself.

When he was just a newly-turned twenty year old, Sam had snuck the whiskey their dad had kept under his pillow and downed it all, becoming drunker than he and John combined. He was stumbling and slurring every word he spoke, his breath smelling like a stale bar.

"Deeean." He'd slurred. "I gotta tell you somethin' important."

"What?" Dean yawned as he struggled to make Sam sit still. His brother framed his face with his hands. Dean tensed.

"I love you."

Dean furrowed his eyebrows. "I love you-"

"No!" Sam growled the word. "No, I  _love_ you. I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you since I was fourteen."

Dean pulled away so fast from Sam, it was like he had been burned. "Oh my god-"

Dean was interrupted as Sam darted forward and pressed their lips together. Dean shoved his brother and gagged. 

"No, Sam, no! It's-it's... wrong!"

Sam's face twisted into sadness, and than to anger.  "No it's not. You know it's not. And if you can't accept it, I swear I'll kill myself. I will."

Dean looked at his brother with sadness and anger in his eyes. "You're drunk. I'm gonna let you cool off, and let you think about how fucked up what you just said to me was." Dean gathered his jacket and open the motel room. "I'll see you later."

When Dean came back, Sam was laying on the bathroom floor, passed out from either blood loss or just drunkenness, a bowie knife next to him and a deep cut on his arm. Dean just about screamed and patched up Sam's wound, gasping in relief when Sam woke up with only a massive hangover and questions about the bandage on his arm.

Dean never told him the truth, not even after Bloody Mary made his eyes hurt so bad that he thought they would explode.


End file.
